Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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