i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
