The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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