big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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