I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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