You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize