The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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