The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
