What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He has the fingertips of a God
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