No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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