i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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