that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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