he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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