these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
