he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize