Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well you can't waste a boner
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
