The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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