that's an acceptable place to lick
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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