whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
