so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
