Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
