i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
