no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
