She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
