apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
