he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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