i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
