a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
