I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
