i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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