she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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