This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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