i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize