I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
