His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
