If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
