Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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