dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
