i don't like sucking hair
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
