after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
