I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Someone shit on the floor
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize