Cold hands, warm shart.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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