I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize