my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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