Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
