If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
