You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
