tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
