Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
