i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize