I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
