we're blogging at a bar
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
