Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
