Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
