hell yes lets make some ravioli
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize