dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
