I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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