My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
