can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
