would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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